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Saying No Nicely

The Attitude Book by Simon Tyler helps you discover how your attitude filters your approach and affects your stance, your reactions, and your words. This book will enable you to tune into and turn your attitude around. Dramatic, life shifting, positive change lies in the inspiration that this book will reveal to you.

The extract from The Attitude Book below explains how to say no nicely and let it positively affect your outcome.

13. Saying No Nicely

How is your current workload? Does the inflow seem unrelenting and faster than the outflow? When it comes down to it, might you be involved in too many things or responsible for too much? When you are busy, your attitude gets fogged-up and lost in the melee of activity.

 

Being the specialist or the reliable one, the ‘go-to’ person, is a heavy honour. I can still hear former bosses advising me: “If you want something done, give it to the busy person!”

 

While it can be brilliant for you personal brand and notoriety, I have noticed it simply does not correlate with career progress or lead to sucess. If anything, it can lead to the opposite of your desires – stagnation and the stressful sense of being overwhelmed.

 

This anathema is confusing, particuarly when your automatic response to extreme workload is ‘do more, faster’, leaving even fewer mindful-moments to rethink your situation.

 

Simply saying ‘No’ to the next request may not sit well. What will they think of me? Will this work against me? Would I be missing out? How will the project progress without my magic?

 

It may be time to devlop the atiitude shifting skill of ‘saying no, nicely’

 

a) Before you say ‘Yes’, invite the requester to “tell me more about…” Enquire about the project. What stage is it at? What are they really asking? What do they specifically want? Who esle could help? What exactly needs to be done?

 

b) Wait, listen and ask another question. Let the other person unravel and broaden their request. I have found that the outcomes of ‘saying no nicely’ are:

–  It gives you more time to contemplate your involvement

–  They elaborate more, meaning you both develop a better solution

–  Another resource can come to mind

–  They end up changing the urgency or the nature of the request

–  They take it back themselves

 

c) If you end up taking on this new piece of work, it is taken on with more rigor than your previous habitual response. And it starts to change the expectation that you are an instant yes-er. Your brand elevates one notch!

 

Your attitude will be shielded or even boosted as you reconnect to the demands placed upon you.

Want to find out more?

If you would like to find out more about The Attitude Book, Simon Tyler’s LID Radio Podcast is available to listen to here.

Or read his article ‘Sort out your ‘flipping’ attitude’ on LID Radio Blog here.

The Attitude Book is available to buy here.

About the author

Simon Tyler is the author of The Impact Book and The Keep It Simple Book and is a much sought-after business coach who works with some of the world’s leading companies.

Tags: LID Publishing, self-development, Simon Tyler, The Attitude Book